Do You Love Me?

‘To love another person is to behold the face of God.’—Victor Hugo 

Love is a many-splendoured thing, so sang many of the old crooning stars When applied to jelly and ice cream, a favourite movie or a passing fad, love is just a surface fancy. But look into the face of a father in Tanzania, finally able to feed his family and send his children to school, or an elderly couple celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary, and you see a different kind of love. 

In the Greek language, there are four different words for love: natural, familial, protective love of a brother or sister (storge); passionate, romantic love between a committed couple (eros); affectionate, companionable love between friends (philia). Then there is agape, the love of God that tells a much deeper story. This is the unconditional, selfless, committed love that declares, ‘I will love you no matter what’. 

On the beach after his resurrection, when Jesus spoke to Peter, he asked the hard love questions. Jesus had been waiting for Peter and some of the other disciples when they returned from a fish-less night’s work. Their nets were empty, their minds and bodies weary, their muscles no doubt aching. Summing up the situation, Jesus told them to throw out their nets on the other side of the boat. A strange command, given that they were the expert fishermen. But they obeyed and then had to haul in a catch bigger than they had ever seen before. 

Breakfast by the fire followed—bread and fish cooked and handed around in a simple act of communion. Afterwards, Jesus spoke to Peter (John 21:15–17), asking him three times if he loved him. The first and second time he used the word agape. ‘Do you love me with that kind of love, Peter?’ And the disciple replied, ‘Of course, Lord, you know that I do.’ The third time Jesus used the word philia. ‘Are you my friend, Peter?’ ‘You know that I am,’ the disciple replied. The whole scene is evocative. 

Think back to a courtyard just before Jesus’ crucifixion. Remember Peter’s three denials by a fire. Feel his shame and remorse. Now another day, after the resurrection, by a fire on the beach, three questions, three replies. This is the mathematics of forgiveness! 

This is Peter’s reinstatement, his new commissioning. Jesus tells him to feed and take care of the sheep— those who will follow Jesus as Lord and Master. 

As we read this story in John 21, it may well read us. There are times when Jesus poses the same hard question to us. ‘Do you love me, (insert your name here)? Now go and do what you can to feed, nurture and care for those I have given you.’ This year’s Self-Denial Appeal gives us the perfect opportunity to show what kind of love lies within us. 

Do we have sacrificial love, that sees a stranger overseas as a brother or sister in need of hope? 

Are we compelled by the agape love of God to give generously so that others can experience a new, hopeful beginning with Christ? 

To love another person is to behold the face of God. 
Victor Hugo

Paul wrote to the believers at Rome, ‘May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit’ (Romans 15:13). This verse is a promise for our Self-Denial offering and a reminder of the hope to which we have been called. 

Our response plus god’s forgiveness will result in hopeful new beginnings for others.